This is a phrase that many patients say to me, and honestly, I never quite know what my response should be. Maybe you guys will have some insight for me. Let me share the things that I’ve said and how it plays out.

I might ask, “What, exactly, have you tried?”

Sometimes people will list a few things (usually 1 or 2 things … so, clearly not “everything”).

Other times they just double-down and say, “Like I told you already, I’ve tried everything!”

Ok, hmmm… so what do I say? “Looks like you’re screwed then!”

Ok, that’s not very good or helpful.

Other times I might start to list specifics. “So, you’ve tried this, and this and this?”

Every once in a while, they will say, “yes, I’ve tried all those things.” But sometimes people seem to be insulted by this as well and say, “I told you, I’ve tried everything.” Yet, unless they have told me specifics, I still remained unconvinced.

Based on experience I know that this phrase should most often be translated as “I’ve tried everything [except for the medicine that I want you to prescribe me].”

And if, in one all-inclusive sentence that rules out every other option on the planet except that wonder-drug, then surely this will be an easy “win.”

Maybe this works for some docs and they just turn off their brains and say, “Ok, what prescription would you like today?”

Yet, for me, I’ve never felt right simply taking their word for it and prescribing said wonder-drug.

Honestly, I feel that since I’m a doctor and I have basically spent the majority of my life learning about the body and how to help people, well, maybe I should actually try to help them.

That is, if I’m any good as a doc, even if you think you’ve tried everything shouldn’t I be able to think of something you haven’t?

Wouldn’t you at least want me to try?

I’m just shocked by how many people go to a doctor, but really don’t want the doctor to try to think through their problem with them.

It baffles me every time.

Sadly I know that some of these patients get worse care and outcomes because they won’t listen to a doctor’s experience and perspective on their health concerns.

I sincerely know it can be pretty hard to be a patient. Many patients feel like their doctors don’t listen to them anyway, so why bother trying to explain everything and convince us?

Even still, I think that it is generally a good idea for doctors to try to think through a problem with you. If you think we aren’t, please, ask questions. Get us to explain our thought processes. But please don’t encourage us to stop thinking for you by using such all-encompassing, non-specific statements like “I’ve tried everything!”

Sorry if this turned into a little bit of a venting. I know I do that sometimes. 🙂