There was a time in my life where I was really struggling with truth and deception. I was being confronted by all kinds of new and strange, even uncomfortable, ideas about who I was and who God is.

I mean, my head was experiencing spiritual vertigo.

And I was scared.

I felt the gravity of these conflicting ideas, opinions, verses and even the tension that manifested between church denominations.

Miracles. Sin. The Holy Spirit. Tradition. Tongues. Truth. False prophets. Redemption.

I was in the center of the cyclone and didn’t want to end up building my life and faith on lies and deception.

I read a ton and sought counsel and prayed so hard that the Lord would help me understand.

Have you been there?

I think the Lord takes some of us through this sort of journey. Others he blesses with the ability to just rest in Him without having to sort it all out in their heads.

I believe both are a blessing and have their purpose.

Anyway, as I was enduring this season, I was constantly terrified that I would be misled and deceived. Constantly.

After all, “the devil comes as an angel of light,” right? (2 Cor 11:14)

So even if I heard directly from an angel, I still might be following the devil!

What a horrifying thought!

It can really stifle your progress and make you want to give up on the whole thing. I honestly wanted to.

I remember saying, “You know, God, I love you and we can still hang out, but all this church, Bible, doctrine, whatever-stuff… I’m done. I’m out. Too much fighting. Too much division. Too much dogmatism. Everyone in your body hates everyone else. So, yeah, no thank you.”

Then I felt Him say something to me…

“What do you have more faith in: the devil’s ability to deceive you? or My ability to lead you into the truth?”

…

sigh

And suddenly the burden was gone.

I didn’t have all of the issues figured out. But I suddenly had peace that I hadn’t had before.

Isn’t it interesting that Jesus never promised us that we’d understand it all.

But He did promise us His peace.

So maybe there are 2 messages here:

First, have more faith in the Lord’s ability to lead and shepherd you. He is a very good shepherd, after all.

And second, maybe we need to stop seeking all the answers, and instead seek His peace.

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