One of my favorite musicians is Jason Upton.

I still remember the first time I heard one of his songs. My brother had put on a CD for background noise while we worked on a project, and I was immediately drawn to it.

“Who is this??” I asked.

“Jason Upton.”

“Wow, I really like this guy!”

The next chance I had I bought his CD. I listened to it over and over until I had every verse, note, even breath memorized.

Then I bought another CD.

And another.

And another.

About that same time, I was learning about how God speaks to people – even today – and in specific ways.

I was in medical school and really struggling with my confidence, faith, and life in general.

Someone had prayed over me and given me a word that the Lord was going to give me a mentor.

I was so thrilled!

Yes! Lord, that’s exactly what I need.

I started looking everywhere for my mentor. Whenever I found a doctor who was a believer, I immediately wondered if ‘it was him.’

I pursued several people this way, but never felt like I had found the mentor that had been prophesied over me.

I was getting disappointed and discouraged.

Several years later I was sitting in my room, reflecting on this. Once again, I was feeling sad and confused because I had really hoped for that mentor who would help me through all of those tough decisions and teach me to walk by faith.

(Of course, I do have many people whom I love and respect – who have helped me tremendously in these ways. This story is not to minimize your impact on me whatsoever.)

As I was sitting there talking with the Lord about this, I asked Him why he’d never given me a mentor.

Immediately, I felt Him say, “What do you mean?”

“Uhhh. Lord, you let me go through all of that without a mentor. Why?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Umm… what do you mean?”

“listen.”

Curiously, I stopped and listened.

And then felt the tears welling up.

All in an instant, it made total sense.

I was playing Jason Upton.

No one else on the planet had been with me through more anger, tears, loneliness, pain and frustration than he had.

Not only that, he had taught me how to worship in the midst of it.

Over the years, I had spent hours upon hours worshiping with Jason’s music. He taught me so much about intimacy with Jesus and the Father’s heart toward me. Jason had given me his songs, words and language so that I could connect to the Lord in a deeper way than I ever had before.

Could I have asked for a better mentor than that? I don’t think so.

The funny thing was, God had introduced me to him almost immediately after the word had been spoken over me.

I just didn’t have the eyes to see it. It wasn’t what I was expecting or looking for.

Sometimes God answers prayers differently than we expect.

Sometimes He gives us exactly what we’ve asked for, but we just don’t yet have the eyes to see it.

He’s good like that.